Rodents, Rodents Everywhere.

Remember I mentioned the squirrel family who was relocating to our attic??

Apparently, the move went well.

They were SO HAPPY about their new digs, that they were too excited to sleep.

So they scratched, and chewed and partied all night long OVER OUR BED.

Let me repeat that: ALL. NIGHT. LONG. OVER. OUR. BED.

Yep.

And, since we weren't really thrilled with THAT idea, a "WAR of the RODENTS" ensued.

In the "Battle of the Bed Phase One" there was:

Lots of banging on the ceiling.
Lots of scratching, chewing and running back and forth ignoring the banging.
A few stomping trips to the attic at 4 AM for Man vs. Rodent stare-downs.
There may or may not have been peals of laughter from said rodents as the attic door slammed shut.

"Phase Two" consisted of putting a radio in the attic for the noise to scare them away.
It gave us YET ANOTHER reason not to sleep.
Who knew squirrels could chew and scratch and scamper to a beat???
Suffice it to say, you SHOULD NOT believe everything you read on the internet.
Lesson learned.
Ahem.


Moving right along to Phase Three in "Man vs. Rodent."

Because we just had to believe the internet was true, we yet again took it's advice.
Don't judge.
Night after sleepless night can make a person crazy.

Over our morning coffee, my sweet husband says.

"Honey, since you will be down in Kennesaw today, could you stop by the sporting good store and pick up some fox urine?"

I've been happily married to this man for almost 26 years and NEVER IN MY LIFE would have thought to get such a request.

He is just FULL of surprises, isn't he? HA!

Reluctantly Happily, I headed down to the store.
For FOX URINE people.

Walking in the door of the store, I am sheepishly looking for a sales associate while rehearsing how to ask my question:

"Excuse me, could you point me in the direction of your finest Fox pee?"


Instead, I run into..... MY PASTOR'S WIFE!!!
(who I love and adore, and who sometimes reads my blog, so Hi Sara :)

We chat, I confess my mission, we laugh and she shows me the cute socks she is buying LIKE EVERY OTHER NORMAL PERSON IN A SPORTING GOODS STORE!!!!!!

I gather what's left of my pride and head upstairs to locate the lovely fox urine.
But I couldn't find it amidst bottles and bottles of deer pee.

And I would like to state, for the record, that any "sport" that requires a person to bathe in deer pee should be banned by wives all across America.

Realizing I would be there for hours examining vial after vial in the pee aisle, I find an associate.

He may or may not have laughed at me.

I'm not sure if I look so completely mortified, or the fact that he was having more fun at my expense, but he also recommended that we buy a giant plastic owl and set it in the attic as well.

I hesitated, and thought, "What the heck, if I have to buy FOX URINE, why not add a large ugly owl??"
 Can't hurt, could help, right?

SO...... heading out with fox pee vials in one hand a the giant owl tucked under my other arm I yet again had the pleasure of seeing Sara.

I arrive home with my lovely treasures and Greg gets to work spraying FOX PEE all over my attic.

I think I need to move now.
Like T-O-D-A-Y.

First the bathtub and now this.

How much can a germaphobe-clean-freak-bleach-lover take?

He strategically places the owl where he looks the most menacing and we hope for the best.

The next morning, bright and early I hear more scampering and scratching........

                       .......and then NOTHING.

And we haven't heard a thing since.

I think the fox urine was so pungent it killed a whole family of squirrels.
Or the owl scared them to death.... literally.

Or they just up and moved out since the place was kinda ghetto.

I'm not sure which.

I'm just happy they are gone.

And I think I could get over the trauma of buying fox pee with a date night out.
(hint. hint.)