Not what I expected.

Aria and I love to talk about China. It is a regular part of our lives and our family's story.

Last night, she was reading, "I Love You Like CrazyCakes" by Rose Lewis to me.
(If you aren't familar with the book, it is about a woman who goes to China to adopt her daughter.)

She sighed, and said, " I love the last page the best."

The last page says: " I held you tightly,kissed you softly, and cried. 
                                  The tears were for your Chinese mother who could not keep you.
                                   I wanted her to know that we would always remember her.
                            And I hoped somehow she knew that you were safe and happy in this world."

Seizing what was perfect open door to talk about her feeling on her adoption and her birth mother, I asked her why she liked it the best.

Her response was not what I expected: 

"I am so happy that I don't have to live with my Chinese mother. I only want to live with you, Mommy. I would never want to live in China with her. I AM safe and happy in this world."

In navigating her feelings about her birthparents, I know we want to be careful how we form her feelings on them. I don't want to over- romanticize them. On the other side, I want her to know that we are eternally grateful for their sacrifice.

I think I just expected that she would pine for them, be curious about them, and need to have the "idea of them" as a part of who she is.

Instead, she has put that on a shelf, and has embraced the family that God gave her. 

I know that we will deal with a wide range of emotions throughout the years, and no response is wrong, but this one truly surprised me.
My prayer is that all my daughters can deal with their loss of their birthparents and country in a healthy way. I hope and pray that as we navigate them through each stage of life that we DO IT RIGHT, in a way that honors their birthparents.

"Lord, help me Do it right."

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