My favorite Quote. And a Pet Peeve or two.

"God doesn't give children with special needs to strong people; 
He gives children with special needs to ordinary, weak people and then gives them strength. 
Raising a child with 
special needs doesn't TAKE a special family, 
it MAKES a special family."


Someone please put this on my tombstone when I die.




I should really just let this quote stand on it's own 
and keep my mouth shut, but alas, I cannot......
(I did think about trying for half a second though)




I HATE, LOATHE, STRONGLY DISLIKE really wish we didn't hear comments like these regularly:


"She is SO LUCKY to have a family that would even take her."


"You guys are AMAZING."


"I could NEVER do what you are doing."


"Are you looking for sainthood or something?"


"Well, even if her life is shortened, at least you gave her a better life than she'd have in China."


"Boy, I am SO THANKFUL all my kids are normal."




Okay, vent warning.....


Deep breath...exhale... here we go...


My daughter is not a puppy from the pound. It is not good enough to "give her a better life" than AN ORPHANAGE would.  


She DESERVES the best life that we can give her, BECAUSE SHE IS OUR DAUGHTER!! 


We are not amazing. 
We are her parents. 
It's our job.


If adoption was not in the equation and we were speaking of a biological child, how offensive would it be for me to say to someone, 


"I know your two year old has leukemia and will probably not survive. At least you gave him a good life.You guys are sure amazing for taking him to chemo appointments, and nursing him as well as you do. Are you guys hoping for sainthood? Because you are doing so much to give him a good life for whatever time he has. Wow. That's amazing... I could NEVER do that."


Sounds really ridiculous and shallow doesn't it?


It sure does.


All our kids are OUR CHILDREN. Birth or adoption is irrelevant. Each is a gift God entrusted to us, and we will do our best for them all.


We are no where near amazing. 
God IS AMAZING.
And we are pretty convinced all six of our kids are pretty special too.


But us?
We are just average parents who love their children and want the very best for each and every one of them. 

Not-so amazing is it?


Nope, I'd say that's just normal.

Comments

  1. NavhelowifeDecember 18, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    Believe it or not, people do say that to those families whose biological children have issues. It's amazingly hurtful, I know. The thing is, it shows such a preoccupation with entitlement. The attitude that we are all entitled, somehow, to a life free from anything *hard* or *different* than what we think is *normal*. We forget that Jesus went among those who were suffering, who were discarded, who were outcasts, who were ill, and showed the same love to them as to everyone else. He never tried to make them feel extra grateful for His presence, that they should show more gratitude than others....He just loved us all.

    Hugs to you and yours...and take care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SueDecember 18, 2011 at 11:25 PM

    Well said. I get some of those comments because I am a single mom to 4 girls that all have their "special" needs. Also...."I don't know how you do it" my respond to that one....I just do it because I wanted to be a mom and these are my daughters and I will do anything for them.
    You are amazing mom because you love and do everything you can do for ALL of your children. As I have said in the past in my blogs. Every child is gifted in their own ways. Celia is just as gifted as the rest of your children.

    ReplyDelete
  3. VDecember 19, 2011 at 11:39 AM

    I'm single and my only child is adopted so I hear a lot "when are you going to have your own child?" and whats worse many many times they say that in front of my 7 years old daugther, I want to hit their heads with a hammer!!!
    I think that we really are AMAZING because we hear so many stupid things and (try) don't slap them on the face!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousDecember 19, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    Well said Cristy!!

    Meg McDowell
    Scottsdale, Arizona

    ReplyDelete
  5. Redheaded BabiesDecember 21, 2011 at 4:52 PM

    At the risk of you cyber-throwing something at me, I still think you are amazing. But not because you adopted, or even because you adopted special needs... but because you make me laugh, make me think, offer godly wisdom and i just flat think you are cool. Now go ahead and hurl something at me... I bet you don't have THAT good of aim. :)
    Ps... glad to see you are home. So sorry for the preChristmas hospital stay... praying for a germ free Christmas full of happy girls in matching pajamas. Love u friend!
    deanna c.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How Can It BE??

Image
It's been almost a year since I've posted and for some strange reason, I found a few extra minutes in my day( crazy, huh?) and thought I would catch-up the TWO WHOLE people who might still be checking in now and then. On May 11, 2014 our world was changed in the sweetest way with the birth of our granddaughter. And GUESS WHAT?!? All those stupid , ahem , quippy things said by grandparents everywhere, are, in fact, TRUE! She is the sweetest, smartest little treasure EVER and I would definitely have been a grandma first if I knew how amazing this is. (Sorry, kids.) And we have the privilege of having her 1-2 days per week, which makes this MiMi blissfully happy but also a tad busy. She is now 10 months old, and can tell you what an elephant and a lion says. She is determined to grow up as quickly as she possibly can, and plans to start walking yesterday. She is a GO-GETTER and is on the move. Having her weekly is such a precious gift. I love it that my grown kiddo...
Read more

The Blessinngs of the Lord make rich...

Image
 Matching PJs and ready for bed. Aren't they adorable?  My and ALL FOUR of my daughters. My cup really runs over!!  Gianna and Celia. I am glad that we prepared ourselves for CP. She is only hypontic in her neck, but she is spastic in her arms, so she is resourseful and uses her feet to grab toys you hold up for her. She is happy, smiley, and sweet as sugar. I am not upset so understand I am saying this as more matter of fact, but she is like a 6 month old in every way. I pray for her sake that some good therapy and nutrition will help her tremendously. She is definitely on the more severe end of CP. We are not shocked, in fact I really expected this end of the spectrum. Please don't feel "sorry" for us or her. She is a blessing and we are privileged to be called to such a child.  Right after we got back to  the hotel room. Sofia only wants ME or Aria. Or she is crying pretty hysterically. We don't mind- at least I have some one to take turns with if I need ...
Read more

Oh what a difference 24 hours makes.

This morning, the PICU nurse announced that we would be moving to the floor today.  I argued with her. I begged. I offered lunch and dinner for the whole PICU staff if they would keep us just one more night.  You see,I spent last night pressing her morphine button every 30 minutes all night long. The nurse came in every hour. She had to check her THREE IVs. Her chest tube that was draining a tremendous amount of blood. Her pain was hard to manage. Her heart rate elevating was our biggest clue, because she never complained. She had a high level of oxygen needed to keep her stats up.  I liked the comfort of knowing that we had one nurse, right outside the door, whose only job all night long was to monitor Gianna and fix every problem as it arose. The nurse laughed and said, "Don't worry she'll be ready. Oh, and she needs to get up and walk today..." What?!??!? It has been LESS than 24 hours since she had major surgery. And then the flurry started. Xrays were taken. Thre...
Read more