Racism is ugly. And so is anger.
My daughters are Chinese, and we are not.
Shocking revelation, huh?
Sometimes it is to me.
You see, I just see four wonderfully amazing little girls that God has entrusted to our care.
I don't see scoliosis, I don't see CP and I don't see attachment issues and most of the time, I don't see chinese children. I see MY girls, who are joyful, spunky and adorable.
And when I do gaze into their beautiful asian eyes, I am jealous.
Although I know racism is real, and ugly and in their future unfortunately,as their Mama, I forget.
Until the person in the mall sees twins in the stroller and smiles, until she sees Celia with fists tightly clenched. And a look of disgust/sympathy flashes across her face.
Honestly, my sympathy is for YOU lady. I feel sorry for ANYONE who doesn't have the blessings of a "Celia" in their lives.
I seriously do.
I have learned more from her than she could ever learn from me.
And until we went out for pizza last night:
The place was crowded and the tables close together.
We had the twins in their side by side double stroller at the table.
As we were maneuvering to leave, the college age girl at the table next to us was put out because she had to scoot in closer to the table to allow Greg to get the double stroller out.
She glared at us, and then said, not once, but TWICE, "Look, all their kids are Chinks!" And snorted in disgust.
Pretty much every sin you can imagine flashed across my mind.
It wasn't pretty, I assure you.
My "react first- apologize later" reflex almost got the best of me.
I waited until we got to the car, and told Greg what she said.
My calm, cool, collected man was ready to march back in there, set her straight and then dump the rest of his iced tea on her head.
We handled it VERY SPIRITUALLY.
As we all know, someone as ignorant and ugly as that, cannot be changed without a heart change.
I thought of I Samuel 16:7; "For the Lord sees not as man sees: For man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."
And I immediately began to feel sorry for the girl.
How SAD to go through life having such hatred for others-even innocent children.
How SAD to miss seeing the person and only see skin color.
How SAD to think you are superior because of your outward appearance.
And then I prayed.
For that lost college girl and for her heart.
And for me, and my response.
You see, my anger/vehemence/hatred toward her is no better than her racism toward my children.
And I don't want to be that way.
May we ALL see others with God's eyes.
Shocking revelation, huh?
Sometimes it is to me.
You see, I just see four wonderfully amazing little girls that God has entrusted to our care.
I see my thoughtful, sweet as sugar, Mommy-in-training in precious Aria.
I see my HERO in my spunky Gianna. She faces every surgery with such grace.
I see compassion and bravery in my darling Sofia.
And honestly, I see GOD's heart in my joyful Celia.
And when I do gaze into their beautiful asian eyes, I am jealous.
I wish that God had seen fit to make me so beautiful.
Although I know racism is real, and ugly and in their future unfortunately,as their Mama, I forget.
Until the person in the mall sees twins in the stroller and smiles, until she sees Celia with fists tightly clenched. And a look of disgust/sympathy flashes across her face.
Honestly, my sympathy is for YOU lady. I feel sorry for ANYONE who doesn't have the blessings of a "Celia" in their lives.
I seriously do.
I have learned more from her than she could ever learn from me.
And until we went out for pizza last night:
The place was crowded and the tables close together.
We had the twins in their side by side double stroller at the table.
As we were maneuvering to leave, the college age girl at the table next to us was put out because she had to scoot in closer to the table to allow Greg to get the double stroller out.
She glared at us, and then said, not once, but TWICE, "Look, all their kids are Chinks!" And snorted in disgust.
Pretty much every sin you can imagine flashed across my mind.
It wasn't pretty, I assure you.
My "react first- apologize later" reflex almost got the best of me.
I waited until we got to the car, and told Greg what she said.
My calm, cool, collected man was ready to march back in there, set her straight and then dump the rest of his iced tea on her head.
We handled it VERY SPIRITUALLY.
As we all know, someone as ignorant and ugly as that, cannot be changed without a heart change.
I thought of I Samuel 16:7; "For the Lord sees not as man sees: For man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."
And I immediately began to feel sorry for the girl.
How SAD to go through life having such hatred for others-even innocent children.
How SAD to miss seeing the person and only see skin color.
How SAD to think you are superior because of your outward appearance.
And then I prayed.
For that lost college girl and for her heart.
And for me, and my response.
You see, my anger/vehemence/hatred toward her is no better than her racism toward my children.
And I don't want to be that way.
May we ALL see others with God's eyes.
So well written, I am so sorry that you had to hear that and your children. I have come face to face with racism with my girls and have slowly decided when to correct someone and not to. I have taught my children to be proud of who they are and where they come from, and to defend themselves too. Your last comment, I never thought it that way, very well put.
ReplyDeleteEven when we know that racism and ignorance (sorry no other word will come to mind) exist, it is hard to address the issue without the emotions that come rushing into our minds. There must be a way to answer these people to help them see how damaging their attitudes can be, not just to our children but to them. When you have that kind of hate in your heart there is no room for love. It is one of the most damaging and self-destructive attitudes known to man. Only the love of God can cure such meanness. I am going to make it a matter of prayer and research, to find a way to turn back their anger without unleashing my own. (If only we could put your blog on the front page of the AJC!) Grandma "She-bear" raging here.
ReplyDeleteEven though I know it's exists, it's still difficult to hear. I am so sorry that y'all went through that. But like you said, even more sad for this selfish girl who doesn't know God's love. I pray that she will see.
ReplyDeleteI was so moved to see the beautiful pictures of your daughters and read how perfectly gorgeous they each are on the inside as on the outside. My daughter was born with a congenital nevus (large birthmark) and strabismus (badly crossed eyes) that we had surgery on because our doctors recommended it. She was just as beautiful to my husband and I before surgery as she was after. There is nothing as lovely as a child and nothing as precious. Fie on those evil people who are unable or unwilling to look past the end of their nose to see what true beauty really is.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you and your family--
A proud China mama to a fabulous five year old...